The Fiendly Talk
by CC Writes
Summary: Darlene has done it this time. She's hosting a talk show where YOU get to ask anyone questions. Knowing her, she'd turn this into a huge cluster. K  for now, any and all questions of any and all topics accepted.
1. Promo

_**A/N;;**__ BECAUSE EVERY FANDOM BUT MAKING FIENDS HAS ONE!_

_Uhm, here, you may ask the canon or __**my OCs**__ any question. Or even me. I love questions._

_DO NOT OWN. BLEH._

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><p><span>The Fiendly Talk<span>  
><em>PROMO.<em>

**Darlene:** Hey, ya'll! Name's Darlene A. Mode! Also known as Abilene Rose, bluee'eyes, and many other aliases.

**Chardonnay:** Dar? You do know your eyes are _hazel_, correct?

**Darlene:** Don? You do know nobody likes a smartass, right? Anyway, this here is Chardonnay Garcia, my wonderful OC, and we're here to introduce our new show, Fiendly Talk!

**Chardonnay:** What is it? 'cause your ideas are… scary.

**Darlene:** If you're referring to Teenage Games and the fairytales fic, you are clearly mistaken. They were wonderful ideas that I got too lazy to finish. ANYWHO~ Fiendly Talk is a talk show hosted by myself, where you, fellow viewers, can ask any Making Fiends cast member a question. You can also ask any of my OCs questions, which include future generations and even the made up families. You can even ask me! It sounds fun, right?

**Chardonnay:** Define your version of "fun."

**Darlene:** So, to ask a question: REVIEW! Ask as many as you want about everything and anything _(Chardonnay rolls eyes)_.

**Chardonnay:** This can go really bad really fast.

**Darlene:** ASK CHARDONNAY ABOUT HER SEX LIFE. DO IT.

**Chardonnay**: _*major blush* _Don't say such things! _(I press button and a fake audience laugh is heard)_.

**Darlene:** So, see you soon for our first episode of… _*looks over at Chardonnay, and there's an awkward pause. I cough*_

**Chardonnay:** _*looks at me_* What?

**Darlene:** YOU SUCK!

**Chardonnay:** Oh, yeah. Join us for Fiendly Talk or whatever punny name this bitch came up with.

**Darlene:** …haha, I'm laughing so hard.

_(BLACK OUT_)

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><p><em>REVIEW FOR QUESTIONS.<em>

_**Adios~!  
><strong>__Darlene :)_


	2. Episode One

The Fiendly Talk  
><em>Episode One<em>

**Darlene:** Hey guys! It's the wonderful, sexy, gorgeous, and amazing Darlene here! With of course, our fiendly crew!

**Charlotte:** Hello world!

**Vendetta:** Bleh. I hate television.

**Marvin:** Oh my!

**Maggie:** _*sighs*_

**Mort:** EEECK! What the hell? This is not what I agreed to!

**Malachi:** Most unholy. Television be a vile creation of the devil.

**Marion:** _*blushes and waves*_

**Grudge:** …

**Darlene:** Anyone else will be brought out accordingly. They're all backstage. Having a hot tub party. Sexy times, huh?

**Marvin:** …AWKWARD.

**Darlene:** And this is my co-host, the Eric Saade Cutout!

**Eric Saade Cutout:** …

**Darlene:** We're gonna have sexy time after the show! _(Everyone stares at me awkwardly. I give them a creepy smile)_. Anyway, our first question is from… actually, our first _questions_ are from gypsy rosalie! Well, the first one is "How is Chardonnay's sex life?"

**Chardonnay:** _*offstage*_ FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

**Darlene:** …no details? Okay, the second question is for Vendetta!

**Charlotte:** Oh yay! My BEEEEEST friend got a question! LET'S NAME IT!

**Marvin:** Why do you name things?

**Darlene:** HEY! You're not special! USE THE REVIEW BUTTON LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES!

**Vendetta:** What's my STUPID question?

**Darlene:** WAIT! Eric Saade Cutout wants to read it! _*gives cutout paper*_

**Eric Saade Cutout:** _*drops paper* _…

**Darlene:** Aww! He's camera shy! Okay, it asks, "How did you learn to make fiends?"

**Vendetta:** It's quite simple really… my grandma, Boyana Lom, was the one who came up with this. She had lost a cat, and she loved this cat with all her might. So she took some of its fur and part of its ear, mixed it with a few other ingredients, and suddenly, the first fiends. She was burned as a witch…

**Darlene:** But how did YOU learn?

**Vendetta:** I was raiding my attic, and found a box of things that belonged to my late grandparents. I found Boyana Lom's book of Making Demons, but I decided to change the word to "fiends." I self-taught myself, like my grandmother did. It just came naturally, like it was encoded in my DNA.

**Darlene:** _*snores, then jumps up*_ LI'L KIM HAS A SANDWICH! Oh, uhm, wow, interesting… but why did you change the name to "fiends?"

**Marvin:** WAIT A MINUTE! How come you get to ask all the questions you want?

**Darlene:** MARVIN ADAM SINK WHAT DID I SAY? USE THE REVIEW BUTTON. I SWEAR TO GOD.

**Vendetta:** … _*coughs*_ Uhm, well, censorship and all… the producers didn't wanna scare children. Hey censorship? Kiss my **(beep)**in' Bulgarian **(beep) **_*flips off, but it's blurred*_

**Darlene:** AMEN! Next question is for Charlotte! gypsy rosalie asks, "What special quality/power do you possess that makes Vendetta's fiends useless on you?"

**Charlotte:** _*tilts head*_ What's a fiend?

**Maggie:** Are you really that stupid?

**Charlotte:** Are you talking about the cute animals Detta makes me?

**Vendetta:** NEVER CALL ME THAT!

**Darlene:** …obviously, by being a **(beep)**ing idiot, to answer that question. AND FINALLY~ Mort! Rosalie asks, "What is the secret to your success?"

**Mort:** _*sips from glass bottle of coke*_ Stay fresh, stay fly, get money, roll with the ladies.

**Darlene:** AWESOME! _(I applause, everyone else sweat drops)_ No one asked you losers. Anyway, let's see… our next question is from Snowheart of ShadowClan, and she wants to know, Marvin… "Do you truly, honestly, with no doubt, love Charlotte?"

**Marvin:** _*blushes* _Well, I, uh…

**Charlotte:** OH MY GOSH! YOU LOVE ME? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! LET'S GET MARRIED! TEE HEE!

**Marvin:** …yeah, okay, I do. _*super blush*_

**Mort:** I CAN DJ THE EVENT! _*raps*_ GRAB SOMEBODY SEXY TELL THEM HEY~ I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU TONIGHT~

**Darlene:** WE CAN EVEN HAVE THE WEDDING ON THE SHOW!

**Marion:** Why are we yelling?

**Darlene:** BECAUSE IT'S FUN! THE NEXT TWO QUESTIONS ARE FROM THE SAME PERSON DIRECTED TO MALACHI! They are: "How come you speak in Elizabethan English phrases? And do you love Marvin?"

**Malachi:** I speak in those phrases because my parents lived in Gatlin, Nebraska. My father's name is Isaac. He was killed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows, but then was resurrected in the sixth movie or something… then moved here.

**Darlene:** …that is total bull shit.

**Malachi:** NO IT'S THE TRUTH! If he found out I was on television, he would kill me!

**Darlene:** I don't believe you. But what about the other question?

**Malachi:** I don't love him. Maggie and I have a thing. Marvin and I had a fling.

**Marion:** What's the difference?

**Maggie:** A "thing" is that you truly like each other and the relationship is more than sex. A "fling" is basically just sex, with no real commitment.

**Marvin:** Wait… we had a fling? DID LAST NIGHT MEAN NOTHING?

**Mort:**Dude, that is how you stay fresh and fly.

**Vendetta:** _*face palms*_ Okay, well… this is retarded.

**Darlene:** OOHHH! DRAMA! Anyway, would all of you please leave except Vendetta, and send back Chardonnay, Skyler, Yasuo, and Sae-Bye-Bye?

**Saeran:** _*storms on stage*_ WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT NICKNAMING ME AFTER THE BACKSTREET BOYS' SONGS?

**Darlene:** **(beep)**, I own you!

**Mort:** Pretty sure N'Sync sang "Bye, Bye, Bye" there… _(Everyone but Vendetta leaves the stage, and Chardonnay, Skyler, and Yasuo enter)_.

**Darlene:** You guys are loved! Yay for love!

**Chardonnay:** Go fuck yourselves.

**Darlene:** DUDE! You can swear? What happened to the censors?

**Chardonnay:** Xavier got pissed and turn them off… _*dreamy sigh*_

**Darlene:** Well, let's move onto our final questions! These last ones are from MissNikii'Bby, my home girl! _*peace sign*_ 'sup, yo?

**Yasuo:** Just because you're Hispanic doesn't mean you can do that.

**Darlene: **AT LEAST HISPANICS CAN RAP! Have you heard of any Asian rappers? Don't think so, BITCH! Ohh! I love when the censors are off!

**Saeran:** What about the FCC?

**Darlene:** Oh yeah! I know all about the FCC! _(music starts, I start singing)_ _They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this! *motions to Yasuo*_

**Yasuo:** _*rolls eyes* _We are not singing!

**Darlene:** Aww… _(music stops)_. Kill joy. Anyway, Chardonnay, Nikii wants details about your sex life.

**Chardonnay:** It's great.

**Darlene:** NO! Like, details!

**Chardonnay:** …oh, well, uhm… let's see… I usually top, we love whips and chains, and he's really good.

**Darlene:** …WHIPS AND CHAINS?

**Saeran:** And they say I'm fucked up…

**Yasuo: **…damn.

**Skyler:** Oh! Nasty! Girl, I know all about the whips and chains! My favorite thing is when Yale let's be chain him to a wall and torture him and…

**Darlene:** Okay, well, let's keep it PG-13. Skyler, Nikii wants to also know about your sex life, save the graphic details.

**Skyler:** …well, we love to roleplay. Just last night, we pretended he was a French maid and I was the CEO of a company, and it started with an innocent little massage, but he kept going lower and lower and then he…

**Darlene:** STOP! The censors may be off but dammit, I know what's best for our viewers.

**Skyler:** …but…?

**Darlene:** SAERAN! Uhm, Nikii wants to know if you've gone to rehab… because you totally have to.

**Saeran:** I'm in rehab right now. This is part of my service hours project.

**Darlene: **How does this classify as service?

**Saeran:** I'm helping a challenged person, aren't I?

**Darlene:** Oh~ how ni- YOU DICK! I'M NOT CHALLENGED! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! GO ON!

**Saeran:** I can't. I need to perform a good twelve hours and I need the network producers to sign my sheet.

**Darlene:** Fucking rehab.

**Yasuo:** Hey, don't you have to focus all your attention on something? Like, a new addiction that's not a bad addiction?

**Saeran:** Yeah… so my new addiction is the Backstreet Boys. I'm joining them next year.

**Chardonnay:** WHAT THE FUCK?

**Vendetta:** _*magically pulls out a sandwich and begins to eat*_

**Saeran:** …what? It's true… ever since Justin TimberGAY left the group…

**Yasuo:** That's N'Sync.

**Saeran:** …fuck. Didn't they also have a gay guy?

**Darlene:** YUP!

**Saeran:** …aren't all boy bands gay though?

**Darlene:** YUP!

**Saeran:** …fuck.

**Darlene:** Glad to know you're secret gay, Sae-Bye-Bye. Okay, well, the next question is for YaYa~ _*giggles*_ Nikii asks: "We all know you're not so innocent as you seem, so I totally want the details on both your love life and sex life? What made you interested in Sanami? .. what kind of THINGS do you two do together when you're alone?"

**Yasuo:** Glad to know you're smarter than the less than average human being, Nikii, with that Class A observation.

**Darlene:** Be nice, you fucking dick.

**Yasuo:** Anyway, my love life is great. Just because I'm not innocent doesn't mean I'm not romantic.

**Darlene:** Where do you get your most romantic ideas from?

**Yasuo:** My mommy! She's awesome. I love my mommy.

**Chardonnay and Saeran:** …wow.

**Skyler:** I LOVE MY MOMMY TOO!

**Yasuo:** As far as sex go, we, uhm… well…

**Chardonnay:** Aww~ YaYa's still a virgin?

**Yasuo:** SHUT UP!

**Saeran:** …not even I'm a virgin. Hell, I'm pretty sure Rior isn't either.

**Chardonnay:** Riordan is too cute to be a virgin… _(awkward silence)_ I'm just saying!

**Yasuo:** As far as what made me interested in Sanami… she was different.

**Darlene:** Well that's not very nice!

**Yasuo:** …in a good way. I don't know. Maybe because I knew there was more to her then the innocent girl who did as her brother told?

**Darlene:** How does Kaoru feel about you?

**Yasuo:** I don't know… I should ask him. Anyway, we don't fuck when we're alone, that's for sure. We usually just talk or watch movies or listen to music or… other things.

**Chardonnay:** Finger bang?

**Saeran:** …what the fuck? You're a damn pervert, Donnay.

**Skyler:** Does she give you a blow job? I bet it's not as good as Yale's!

**Saeran:** …motherfucking perverts.

**Darlene:** PG-13! DOES ANYONE NOT UNDERSTAND? _*ahem*_ Anyway, out last Q is for Vendetta~ yay!

**Vendetta:** …kiss my ass.

**Darlene:** Nikii wants advice on how to take over a town, 'cause she wants to rule hers.

**Vendetta: **Do something insane, memorable, and that will leave the citizens crawling in fear. Scare the mayor into giving you power. Pretend you have something super secret, evil, and disastorous stored up your sleeve and in your cellar, even when you don't.

**Mort:** AND STAY FRESH, STAY FLY, GET MONEY, AND GET WITH THE LADIES!

**Vendetta:** DEATH TO YOU! _*grabs flamethrower and starts chasing Mort*_

**Darlene:** Uh… well! That's all the time we have for today!

**FCC Men:** _*bust down door* _We're from the FCC. We need to meet… Darlene?

**Darlene:** CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, BITCHES! _*runs and jumps out window*_

**FCC Men:** GET HER! _*follows*_

**Yasuo:** This was… episode one of Fiendly Talk!

**Saeran:** Join us next time! …unless we get cancelled.

_(BLACK OUT!)_

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><p><em>Insanity at its finest! It's only episode one, and we've already hit the T rating!<em>

_Oh Skyler, keep your sex life to yourself._

_**Adios~!**__  
>Darlene :)<em>


	3. Episode Two

The Fiendly Talk  
><em>Episode Two<em>

**Darlene:** Hey guys! Darlene here AGAIN! Luckily, the FCC didn't cancel us, they just require a shit ton of money, which we've decided to send some of my male OCs out to get… no need to worry, I made sure I sent the non-virgin ones. _*evil cackle* _Now, let's meet our fiendly crew!

**Vendetta:** I hate the world.

**Charlotte:** _*admires ring on her left hand* _Tee hee!

**Marvin:** Erm, hello?

**Mort:** _*chilling in the hot tub with sunglasses on* _Yo.

**Marion:** _*face palm*_

**Maggie:** I hate life.

**Vendetta:** I agree.

**Malachi:** Most unholy.

**Darlene:** Also, to improve ratings, you can ask any character, canon or OC, gender bent. No FG gender bends please… I can hardly keep track of the normal OCs gender bent… AND EVERYONE WELCOME THE SEXY ERIC SAADE CUTOUT! You can also ask the sexiness that is him a question.

**Eric Saade Cutout:** …

**Darlene:** I love Swedish people… except Rhea. SHE'S A WHO- nice lady.

**Vendetta:** Glad to know your friends with people who sell their body, now can we please get on with the show?

**Darlene:** **(beep)**y much? _*ahem* _Oh, so, our first question is for… Marvin! gypsy rosalie asks, "When did you discover your true feelings for Charlotte?"

**Marvin:** Uh, well… my true feelings were discovered after the events that followed Marvin the Middle Manager. I was kept locked up and chained in Vendetta's cellar for a while, since she was really mad and probably PMSing a lot.

**Vendetta:** _*throws knives at Marvin*_ YOU WEREN'T TO TELL ANYONE!

**Marvin:** …anyway, Charlotte broke in afterwards and would spend time in the basement watching me. At first, it was really creepy. But then I noticed how pretty her eyes were. Then, we'd play Uno and I realized I had met my soulmate.

**Darlene:** Chained up in the basement? Kinky.

**Marvin:** _*face palm*_ Of course you'd say that.

**Darlene:** Why was she like, stalking you?

**Charlotte:** He's sexy~? Yippie! I'M GONNA GET MARRIED!

**Darlene:** …how weird. Hope it works out. Anyway, out next question comes from MissNikii'Bby to Charlotte, asking, "How on Earth are you so cheerful all the time?"

**Charlotte:** Well… it's because… if I act cheerful, maybe the world will be a better place…

**Darlene:** …are you emo?

**Charlotte:** _*screams* _WHO TOLD YOU?

**Vendetta:** Ooh, breaking the fourth wall. Me like.

**Maggie:** I TOLD YOU I WASN'T **(beep)**IN' EMO! Suck my fat, blue balls!

**FCC Man:** _*walks on stage*_ You can say that?

**Darlene:** _*shrugs* _You guys didn't beep it.

**FCC Man:** True… _*walks off*_

**Darlene:** Well, I want to send you to rehab with Sae and Mags, since, you know... you're all emo.

**Charlotte, Maggie, and Saeran:** WE ARE NOT EMO!

**Darlene:** …okay, next question is from… Snowheart of ShadowClan, who asks Marvin, "Would you ever date someone with the darkest mahogany brown color hair, and cherry chocolate mousse and red mixed into the brown? And if she had eye-glasses?"

**Marvin:** …erm… if she was nice and I wasn't engaged, maybe?

**Charlotte:** Who is she? Is she TRYING to be a homewrecker? I'LL KILL HER!

**Darlene:** Uh oh! Someone's a little OOC today. No matter, Ebonyclaw of ShadowClan has a question for Malachi, "Could you die?"

**Malachi:** Yes. Especially if Papa Isaac found out I was here.

**Darlene:** I'm pretty sure you aren't related to that freaky ass midget. MissNikii'Bby has a request for you, Mort!

**Mort:** I thought this was a question show?

**Darlene:** Suck my imaginary balls and do it! She wants you to propose to Marion!

**Charlotte:** YAY! JOINT WEDDING!

**Darlene:** And she's back in character.

**Charlotte:** Shut the **(beep)** up!

**Darlene:** And now she's OOC again… damn. I need to stop writing while high.

**Everyone:** …you're high?

**Darlene:** No one _asked_ you!

**Mort:** So… uhm… _*gets down on one knee*_ Marion, I love you. I love how British you are. I love how you have good teeth, unlike some Brits, I love how you're not afraid to dream to escape to Canada and-

**Marion:** MORT YOU **(beep)**! _*slaps him*_ That was OUR secret! No! Get out! I won't **(beep)**ing marry you! _*storms out*_

**Mort:** BABY, WAIT! _*runs after her*_

**Darlene:** …soap opera, much? Okay, OC question time! The first one is for Xavi, my little Swedish singer~ MissNikii'Bby asks, "Why does everyone hate you? -sarcastic- 'cause I think you're wonderful."

**Xavier:** _*crosses arms*_ I think you're a **(beep)**. Ah, **(beep)**! I can't **(beep)**ing swear anymore! Who the **(beep)** died and put the **(beep)**ing FCC in charge?

**Darlene:** Xavier, be nice. AND ANSWER THE **(BEEP) **QUESTION! What? You serious? I can't say **(beep)**! The Bible says it! It's says, and I quote, "I **(beep)** you to eternal life in **(beep)**." WHAT? I CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT? But what if I'm talking about **(beep)**, Michigan?

**Xavier:** Your quote is wrong, but whatever. Everyone hates me because I'm that one guy who has to be hated. I used to be a really bad flirt, but now I'm settled into a committed relationship and everyone still thinks I'm a cheater. Well, let me tell you something **(beep)**holes! I'm not cheating on my girlfriend like KAI and I don't sleep around like MIGDALIA. So suck my **(beep)** and get the **(beep)** off my back.

**Darlene:** Someone's angry.

**Xavier:** **(beep)** yeah, I am!

**Darlene:** EMILIJA! Nikii also asks you, "Why don't you do anything about Daina's harassment?"

**Emilija:** What? I don't do anything about it because Daina's a strong girl, she's just too shy and nice to attempt to hurt anyone. I want her to be able to kick ass, because Matthias sure as hell can't. And he's the guy.

**Zhila:** _*pops up*_ He's a bit of a wimp, but I do love him.

**Emilija:** Get the **(beep)** out of here, BITCH! _(Zhila glares and exists)_.

**Darlene:** Drama, drama, drama. Jesus Christ. Where are my adorable Maguire/Doherty boys?

**Saeran, Riordan, Keefe, and Angus:** _*glare* _Here.

**Darlene:** I only need Rior and Sae. _(Keefe and Angus exit)_. Nikii wants to know, "Are you guys planning on marrying Primavera/Aminta? Where will your honeymoon be?"

**Saeran:** …I can't answer.

**Darlene:** It'll be answered soon, anyway. What about you, Riordan?

**Riordan:** _*flush*_ I guess? I don't know when, though…

**Darlene:** ..oh shock, we're out of questions already? SEXY PARTY TIME!

_(Ground starts to shake and the doors fall open)_

**Darlene:** Oh what the fuck? HEY! The censors are gone.

**Isaac:** _*walks in*_ MALACHI! I told you never to go on this show! He Who Walks Behind the Rows does not approve!

**Malachi:** EEP! _*hides behind Maggie*_

**He Who Walks Behind the Rows:** _*opens up portal to hell and starts sucking the entire station into portal*_

**Darlene:** _*screams*_ OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!

**Xavier:** And you all hate me, 'cause you don't like my hair or my hat…

**Riordan:** …join us next time?

**Saeran:** It can be our special episode, live from Hell.

**Riordan:** Have you noticed you're always the one to finish the show?

**Saeran:** He-

_(SCREEN GETS FUZY AND STATION PUTS ON THE RAINBOW SCREEN)._

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><p><em>Another episode, which nothing truly amazing goes down.<em>

_It was so creepy to write Charlotte like that, just saying._

_**Adios~!**__  
>Darlene :)<em>


End file.
